Dining and Decorum: 25 Things of Which Patrons Should Be Aware
By Hazel Tradewind
In June of 2008, I packed up my things and moved to Manhattan. Eager for a radical change personally, professionally, and geographically, I left my hometown in the San Francisco Bay Area, determined to take a break from a career and explore all of my artistic and adventurous inclinations in the Big Apple. Figuring the only non-professional job that could pay the rent in the city was that of being a server, I hit the streets each day, armed with resumes until I landed a position the second week of July. Now at my second restaurant in Manhattan, I have been waiting tables for nearly a year and a half. Although I’ve not been at it nearly as long as countless other waiters, I feel my experiences working with the public have been ample, and that I’ve earned my chops.
A list then, a response to the article that ran three weeks ago entitled “You’re the Boss: 100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do.” I ask any servers out there who read this to please chime in and include anything I have forgotten. I have experienced the pleasant, the peaceful, the engaging, and the generous, but I’ve also encountered the ridiculous, the annoying, the high maintenance, and the mean. This is addressed to everyone at the table. Enjoy.
1. Try not to split the check more than two ways. It slows a server down when she has to stop in the middle of a rush to charge Mr. X’s card $35, Ms. Y’s card $50 and make change for Ms. Z’s twenty dollar bill.
2. Do not ask three different people for the same thing—i.e. a fork or salt and pepper. A good busser or server will return with what you need promptly. Allow them time to retrieve it for you before asking multiple people.
3. Ask bussers for silverware, napkins, water or condiments only. For anything else, flag down your waiter or ask the busser to find him. Likewise, try to ask for all condiments at once. One of the most frustrating aspects of brunch, many servers will tell you, is to have to make multiple trips to one table. To bring your table the ketchup they asked for, just so they can ask for salt and pepper, so that when you return with that they ask for butter and jam, only to return with that and then be asked for hot sauce is completely ridiculous and avoidable. At the same time a server is making all these trips, she has a tray of coffees she needs to deliver to another table, an order she has to place for this table, extra plates to give to that table, mimosas to pick up for another table, etc.
4. Remember what you ordered. More often than not the plates are hot and heavy and sometimes the person running the food is not your server. Help him out by ceasing the conversation for a moment and claiming what is yours when it arrives at the table.
5. Don’t block a pathway with your chair or belongings. A restaurant is a busy place with many people bustling about, arms loaded with food and trays filled with drinks. If it’s obvious that people are continually squeezing past you or stepping over your bag, move in closer to the table and place your belongings under it.
6. If you can, it is very helpful to move things aside for a server so he can place the plates on the table. Again these plates are hot, heavy, and numerous, and we don’t have the extra hand to clear your open map of the city streets of Manhattan or your child’s coloring book in order to place food safely on the table.
7. Don’t assume anything about servers. Most (at least in Manhattan) are college-educated and often take serving jobs because they allow the flexibility to pursue their careers on their time off. Plus, this job can be stressful and exhausting. Just like your job.
8. Don’t assume anything about bussers. For one thing, they all speak English. Plus, their job is more physically demanding than a server’s. Again, their work is stressful and exhausting. Just like yours.
9. Tip on a gift certificate. Gratuity is never magically included in a gift certificate, nor can a server receive the remainder you didn’t use as some sort of gratuity.
10. Standard tipping is 20% in Manhattan. When I first started, a seasoned waiter told me “Standard tipping is 18% across the U.S., but in Manhattan it’s 20%, and in D.C. it’s 25%.” I promise you, servers throughout this country depend solely on their tips. Minimum wage is set at a different rate in the hospitality business than other non-salary jobs in this country. I can show you my weekly paycheck: I average fourteen dollars a week.
11. If you are a foreigner visiting the U.S., familiarize yourself with #10, just as you would concerning all other matters and forms of etiquette when visiting a foreign country.
12. If you are able, tip in cash. Cash cannot be taxed, so the server gets to keep 100% of it. Of course, it’s not always possible to tip in cash, and everyone understands that.
13. A casual ambience should not determine how to tip. Remember #10, regardless of the atmosphere. Most of the time servers and bussers are working harder in restaurants that are casual: at my current job, we share the responsibility of running food, cleaning, rolling silverware, and packing up food to go. The only time you should tip less than standard is when you have received poor service.
14. And don’t skimp on the tip because you spent a lot on food and drinks. If you can’t afford to tip accordingly, don’t eat out. If you think I sound out of line, refer again to the part in #10 where I mention that we live solely on our tips.
15. Also, be aware that servers share their tips with bussers, bartenders, hostesses, and food runners. So again, when you only want to tip 12% because you ate and drank $150 worth of food, remember that everyone is affected.
16. When entering a restaurant, it is always helpful to wait to be seated, even if there isn’t a sign saying so. If you have your eye on a particular table, simply ask when approached by an employee. Never seat yourself.
17. Don’t order things that are not on the menu. If you don’t see chicken wings listed, it’s because the restaurant doesn’t serve them.
18. Restaurants always stay open a bit longer to accommodate customers. Servers and bussers accept this as part of the job and wait patiently after hours for patrons to finish their last glasses of wine and bits of conversation. So when you finally see lights go up and chairs placed on tables, extend the same courtesy those employees just did towards you and finish up so they can try to enjoy the rest of the night, too.
19. Please leave a signed receipt. It doesn’t matter whether you leave the merchant or customer copy, but you must leave one and remember to sign it. At my first job, one of my tables took both receipts by accident, so I lost a tip. It was the same as working for free. Apparently the next day the woman came in, realizing her mistake and hoping I was still able to get my tip. The manager told her I wasn’t able to. I certainly couldn’t make up a tip, so I had to close the check as if she had left nothing. This has happened to me many times. If I’m lucky to catch the mistake in time, I’m bolting out the door and down the street to catch up with my customers to get the signed copy.
20. Don’t let your children run around a restaurant. I have to regularly dodge kids with full plates of food in both arms as their parents shuffle behind them, gently admonishing but still not curbing their behavior. I have had many tables where this goes on from the time they sit down to the time they leave. The parents just switch off getting up to follow the kid around and let him run and scream, so that he doesn’t have a tantrum at the table. By the way, these are usually the same parents who ask their toddlers to tell me what they want to eat. They read them options from the menu and sit expectantly, waiting for their two year old to speak his order to me. It’s called being over-indulgent. And it’s wasting his time and mine. I can order for him: he’s going to eat anything with melted cheese on it. Guaranteed.
21. Don’t steal servers’ pens.
22. Don’t bark an order as you’re being seated. This person may not even be your server and even if she is, it’s rude to start telling orders at her like she’s a machine. A small acknowledgement that you are interacting with a human is all that’s necessary.
23. Put your phone on vibrate.
24. Don’t bring in outside food and drinks. It’s really tacky. The only way you can embarrass yourself more in that situation is to leave your outside garbage, i.e. your Starbucks or Jamba Juice cups, at the table for the server to throw away afterwards.
25. Don’t order something off the menu and when told that the restaurant doesn’t make it, counter with “Well they made it for me last week.” Unless you know the chef, the only way something special was made for you was because you requested it and your server went to the kitchen and begged them to make it. It was your previous server doing back flips for you. It was an exception. And I’m sure that he and the rest of the staff received a stern admonishment from the chef to never do that again after that order was allowed.
No comments:
Post a Comment